Choose Yourself: Identity, Power & Purpose

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0:57 Did you know women represent just three percent of Fortune five hundred CEOs and less than fifteen percent of corporate executives at top companies worldwide? Have you wondered what the secrets are to getting into the top ranks, whether in the private or public sector. Do you want to figure out how to stop being held back in your career? Are pasted over for promotion? Then you're in the right place. Hi, I'm doctor Mattlanann lewis, President and CEO of the Executive Women's Success Institute. I have decades of experience in the military, the federal government, and corporate America. And my mission is to help women succeed and tap into their full potential.

1:42 I want to reach a million plus women around the world to become the leaders they are meant to be. So if you want to move into a management or executive level position, or maybe you are a female veteran transitioning out of the military into business entrepreneurship, and then reach out to the Executive Women's Success Institute at three zero one six nine three three two eight four let us get you on the fast track to success. Well, Hello, and welcome to the Success for Women's Show, where you can view us on Talk for TV and listen to us on the Women for Women Network. I am doctor Madeline Ann Lewis your host, and my mission is to help women accelerate the path to success. Well, today's topic is choose Yourself, Identity, Power and Purpose and my guest is Miss You're me Jssin and I tell you what.

2:58 I am honored to have her here because she is coming to us from Canada to day. But before I bring her on, let me just give you a little bit about her. Ermi is a self published author, speaker, podcast host, and finance professional based in Canada. She holds the Chartered Financial Analyst and Chartered Alternative Investment Analyst designations, and she works in financial in the financial services industry while using her platform to advocate for women's empowerment, identify identity, and self leadership. Her book, Discovering Your Identity, A Rebirth from Interracial Struggle explores her journey as a third culture woman navigating belonging, culture and self worth. Ermi also hosts Stories Beyond Borders, which is a podcast that amplifies diverse voices on identity, migration, language, and the meaning of home.

4:05 It is such a pleasure to bring to the Successful Women's show, Ermi Hassan Hi Hi, it is such a pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you. I know your schedule is probably really busy. Our goal to just be glad to hear some of your journey and also talk about your book a little bit. So tell me something you you know from your bio. I can tell that you wear Mani hats, finance, professional, author, speaker, podcast hosts. So how do you personally define success at this stage in your life?

4:50 I define success with one word, which is alignment. It's something that took me and why to understand. I think as a society, we think the success it's about career, reputation, financial status, your perception that people have about you in the society. But it realized for me it's about doing the things that make me happy and doing the things that I am most I feel most fulfilled, and for me, it's really about finding things that are online with my goals and values.

5:31 Now, your book discovering your identity, Now I can tell that it's deeply personal. What moment or realization inspired you to finally tell your story. It was basically a couple of years ago when I was invited to different podcasts and every single time they would everyone was so fascinated about my story of being at our culture key, and I saw this as an opportunity to basically write my book. I didn't think it was going to come at that moment in my life. I didn't think it was going to come that soon.

6:11 I knew that I was going to write a book eventually, but it came literally like four years ago, and so I saw this as an opportunity to make those conversations into a more concrete thing by writing my book, and I so published it. Mm hmm wow. And you know what, like I said, it seems like it's very personal to you because as a third world or as a third culture woman, you've navigated, i know, questions of belonging and self work. When did you begin to see your identity not as a struggle but more is strength.

6:54 And even that it happened a couple of years ago, I think I had to do a couple of internal work and a lot of reflection, and a lot of understanding of myself and my identity and how I wanted to be portrayed in the world and what kind of cultures I wanted to represent. And so after having a lot of conversations, open dialogues, finding community of people similar to me, I finally came to the realization with me exposure to multiple cultures, it's it's an asset. It is more like a strength, something that I can use as my storytelling. And so me having exposure to, you know, two cultures to begin with the Bengali Titanian one, it's it's an asset. It's quite powerful, powerful, and it means you know that I can speak to languages. It means that I have exposure to two cultures. It means that I have exposure to to different transitions to different cuisines, and so that it was in that moment that I saw this more like a like an asset and not a weakness.

7:58 Wow. Now know we all know that many women they feel pressure to kind of shrink back or maybe conformed to fit into professional or cultural spaces. How did you learn to choose yourself instead? I agree with what you just said. I feel like we just shrink ourselves more often than not to fit an ideology of what's considered to be the perfect daughter, the perfect women, for women working for a company. But for me, really, I came to a realization that I didn't want to like follow that, and I put myself first by basically putting boundaries and protecting my energy, protecting my.

8:56 Aura. And it was at that moment that I decided that, you know it, it's okay to think differently. It's okay to uh to follow the unconventional, It's okay to put yourself first. It's okay to follow your own path because at the end of the day, you you cannot always make everyone happy, and so it's more important that you make yourself happy before making you know happy someone else. Absolutely, and that is definitely key and what you said about you know, like I said, shrinking back, that's that's something women tend to do a lot. And so I think, you know, reading your book is would be a perfect example to help them to move past and beyond that type of uh you know, behavior conforming too and just realize that, hey, you have to do what's best for you.

9:52 That's right. Mm hmm. So what does self leadership mean to you and why is it especially important for women today? Do you think. So? For me? When I think about leadership, I truly think that it's all about impact, influence, and it's about sustainability. I think that women are typically leading in a way where they're creating impact and inspiring other women to do the same. It's no longer about titles. I think I used to have that notion that leadership is all about, you know, climbing the corporate ladder and being the CEO of a company, being the VP, the SVP of a company. And honestly, that's how I used to think the success was going to be that if I can become a manager of a company, it means all of the successful women. But I realized that I was developing those leadership skills even by being in a lower level positions and it wasn't you know about my title. Well, it was about the fact that I was part of a community, building a community, giving back to the community. It was about inspiring other people.

11:03 And that's how I started to see leadership. It's about leading by example and being an inspiration to other people and making sure that you are creating an impact. And when I think about big names, most important leaders that for me were true, true leaders, that's what they did. You know, Like if I think about Gandhi, who is someone dra I very much admire. I think he was a true leader, very charismatic, he was giving back to the community, he was helping people. And so for me, that's what it means when it comes to when it comes to leadership. Absolutely and you're absolutely correct when you say, you know, a lot of people look at leadership as having a certain title and that gives them that, you know, I'm the leader, But it's really not about titles. It's about you and how you handle yourself, the way that you like you said, impact you make, and how you're you know, the people that are looking at you, just what exactly are they thinking of you as the person they want to follow you know so, and and and all those things.

12:15 That plays a big part in in in leadership. And again, like I said, a lot of people don't realize that it's not about the title. That's it. That's it. For women. Who feel caught between cultures, expectations, are are certain roles. What do you think is the first step toward reclaiming their own authentic identity. I think it's about finding good allies, finding like partners or trusted people. I call them partner meaning that I always say, it's like any kind of like network that you do. It's about partnership. And I think that finding allies, finding mentors, finding finding people that advocate for yourself are the first step to reclaim yourself because I think sometimes we're the we are our worst critiques. We don't believe in ourselves, we don't we don't trust ourselves. And I think sometimes if you have the right kind of people around you who support your ideas and who encourage you, they will help you to find that power that it's sitting there but it's waiting.

13:44 To be used. And so for me, I think it's about finding the right people around you mentors, allies, partners, people that advocate for you. And I think it's also important to don't just rely on your group of people. I think it's okay to go out and find other kinds of people that are like similar to you in terms of like values and who has your same interests. So, for instance, like there are so many like local events that happen in every single city that you have, conferences, you have social events, networking events, you know, especially now with international rooms and you have you have so many just go ahead and participate to some of these events and network with like mine, like like like people. So that would be my advice for for anyone who's like reclaiming, who's looking to reclaim themselves.

14:40 You know, I totally agree with that, because if you stay in that same little box, then you know, where's the stretch, Where's. How are you going to? You know know what how you should you know look at In other words, have different perspectives too, because when you meet different people from different places, like for example, here I am, I'm here in Maryland and you're in Canada, so we're kind of reached the cross here to network, and that's pretty much what it's all about. And you have to and I think That's why I like to bring guests on from different areas of you know, around the country, different things like that, because.

15:27 It's always a different perspective. You can always see, uh, what how they look at things, even with leadership, even with success. You know, everybody have their own definition of those things, how leadership should be, how success You know how to define success. But if you stay in the same little box, then you're gonna keep that same opinion. You won't have a you know, you won't have that different perspective. That's it. I agree, and it's and I think that's how you that's that's how you get like different ideas and different interests when you get outside of that comfort zone and you're willing to speak with someone that you would never have spoken before.

16:09 Yeah, exactly, exactly. Now, representation is a major theme in your work and of that, So what do you believe telling our stories, especially as women of color or immigrant women? Why is that so powerful? So for me, when I think about representation, it's about possibilities. And I also think representation as leading by example and being determined. So what I mean by that? And for me, representation, like I said, it's very very important.

16:53 But for me. Really, what it means is that I'm showing up for myself, but I'm showing up for other people. If I do not show up at all, I'm not making any kind of changes. And I always make this example of what happened to me. A couple of years ago, I went to an interview and before going to this interview, I looked into the management team and I was like trying to see if there was diversity, if there was a representation, and of course there's none of that. And so I pointed this out during the interview, and I asked the interviewer, like what do you do in terms of that, Like why don't you have women in your team? Why don't you have women of color in your team? And he was quite honest with me, the interviewer, Like he was really upfront about it, and he was like, you know, it's not about us not wanting to have representation, it's just that women do not apply. And let me tell you this. I was a little bit turned off at that moment, and I also didn't want to go to that interview because I was like, there's no representation. What am I going to do there? But I told myself that not you know what, I'm still going to go to this interview. If I been today got the job, my face will be on the website. And that's how I'm going to make that change going forward. Anyway, I did not the interview went well, just to like say, very briefly went well, but I decided not to go with that because it was not aligned with me. But for me, that's what it means representation, like making sure that you are changing the story going forward by showing

18:27 up in places where representations is very much needed. Exactly because sometimes it just takes one to open that door for the others to follow, you know, to be able to go through the door. And as women, as we've talked about the shrinking back, a lot of times, we don't think we're qualified sometimes to go into those places like you went. You know, you did the interview, but when you ask that question that could have deterred you from even doing an interview. Yeah, so that was. Good, you know that you you you definitely you went on through it. Now your book, when you talk about discovering your identity and different things like that, what made you decide to write your story? What made you decide to just put it in print.

19:24 You know what, I like. I read another book prior to writing my book, and when I was reading that book, I just felt the person was telling my story like it was so relatable, and I thought maybe maybe even my story could be relatable to someone. So that's why I wanted to write it. And I was going to different shows, to different many podcasts, podcast shows where they were asking my story of being a tour culture kid, and they were all very interested in knowing my experience growing up in Italy, and so I was like, you know what, let me just let me just write it, you know, really, just write it and see where this could go. I just didn't think it was going to happen that that soon. And for me, it was like journaling. It was digital journaling because I was just typing it and I was talking about my childhood, my teenage whose who was quite It was quite nice as a process because I was relieving those moments as if they happened yesterday, even like it's been twenty years, and so it was it was quite a nice process.

20:35 And it's easy when you are talking about yourself, so it was quite effortless. I would just sit down every day and write it. And then I saw the actual concrete creation. I was like, oh my gosh, I did it. You know, it's I can go and tell people. Now now based on all of that, have you, you know, ever struggled with, say, imposter syndrome, particularly being in the inn that you're in, And if you did, how did you work through it? Because again, like we talk about a lot of women, sometimes they don't feel qualified to be in those areas, in those spaces. So was that something you ever struggled with?

21:16 Okay, you know what, I was never familiar with this word until I started to go to webinars and workshop and they would like talk about imposter syndrome, and I was like, what is that? What is that? But you know what, I think we're all a victim of it. We just don't realize it. We just don't realize it. And I think me too, like I always tell myself, you know, I can do this, but then I start second guessing myself. And that's when I realized that, Okay, this is me, Like, you know, it's my imposter syndrome. And I think every single person suffers from it, and women especially, and we're always always like second guessing ourselves and so me one thing that I did because I am guilty of it, I try to work on it.

22:07 I try to work on it by reframing some of the sentences, by writing like positive affirmations that I can do it, by rewirying my brain to think otherwise. So I use this little trick to make it like work. And then the other thing that I am starting to do is also like document a little bit of the things that I accomplish, because sometimes I'm thinking, I don't think I'm good enough for something, But then I'm like, no, but I did all of those things and. All of that exactly. So that's a good point, you know, because I started doing the same thing a little while ago, because just like you, you know, even though you do things, but until sometimes until you put it down, you think, oh, wow, I did do that. You know I can't do that, And because we do second guess ourselves as women, and it's always well, what if I'm not good enough?

23:01 Would if I fail? What if? What if? It's always you know, in the back of your. Head, what if? Or or you know, so you I totally agree with you. I do that. I started doing the same thing, writing those accomplishments down and believe it or not, at the end of the year. I a few years, a couple of years ago, I started making a video and I do the video at the end of the year to put out there all the things that I accomplished, my company account accomplished during the year. And I mean, it's always to me so amazing. It's like, dang, I didn't know all you know, did all that during the year. But that is such a good thing to do, believe it or not, because again, when you when that imposter syndrome hit, you just pull out your notes, pull out your you know whatever wherever you're keeping that information, and just look at the fact that yes, you are qualified, Yes you can do it.

24:02 You've done it, and this time you'll do it even better. So that truly does work. It really does. And you know what I recently they I was like, I was completely a form because I was supplying for something and they were asking me, do you have any experience in hosting events? And in my manner, I was like, yeah, I do, but I don't know how many I have. But then they asked me to list them and I started to writing them down. I was like, oh, damn, no, I do have a lot. Why am I thinking like I did not have any exactly? And you know, that's one of the things when I did my teedics talk and I said in there and this is because it was from the Harvard Business Review, and it literally said that about men, how they will apply for position when they feel they may be only sixty percent qualify for it. But a woman will look at the same position and feel she has to be one hundred percent qualified before she will even apply for it, which is such you know, a big expect cause see they get in the position and they think, I'll just learn as I go. But we feel like we have to walk into it knowing everything. And that's not true.

25:22 That's right, And I think it's it's the way we have been conditioned to, you know, to be perfect, always perfect, and because of that, I think we just walk away when we don't meet all the requirements, all the requirements. Sometimes we talk ourselves out of something that could very well be you know, what we're good at, you know, and have them good at, and just don't we just don't recognize it. Yeah, I agree, I agree. We're your podcast Stories Beyond Borders. It explores identity migration, and the meaning of home.

26:04 Correct. What has surprised you the most from some of the stories that you've heard. Everything, everything, Because. Some of the stories that I that I listened to were quite surprising and at the same time unrealistic, because before hearing these stories, I was like, no, this kind of happen nowadays. But I did, like I used to like think that some some some of the reasons why people live their countries, which you just see it on like on on on movies, like in the movies. There was this particular guest who told me that she had to leave her home country because of like war reasons back in the days. And she was telling me about this episode where like she just took her teddy Bear and then like she just like left the country with her with her mother. And I think that that was just happening in the movies, Like I was like, it's happened in the movies, but the fact that she told me that it really happened to her, and I was like, Wow, that's that's like, that's that's really like and I like not, you cannot imagine something like that. So for me, that was quite an eye opener. And then there was another another guest who also talked about her being by racial and how you know, like she was half white and

27:34 half black, and how you know she felt privileged because she looked white, but sometimes you know, she wished, she wished that she looked black to be closer to that the other part of her identity. And a lot of these stories are really relatable too, Like I invited people who are very similar to me, Like they grew up in one country, but the parents come from another country, and even though the countries could be different, go through the same struggles, you know, trying to fit in, trying to look alike, you know, trying to be like that, you know, those people that are living in the same countries as us. So it's been a nice experience so far.

28:15 I enjoy, you know, interviewing people, enjoy hearing their immigration stories. Now, have any of the conversations that you've had on your podcast, has any of those stories stayed with you or shifted your own perspective? Definitely. One thing that I am much more aware is that every single human being has a story to share. And one thing that I'm also much much more aware is our names we have. You know, each one of us has a different name, and sometimes people ask me how to pronounce my name.

28:56 Like a little bit like you said at. The beginning, I'm a bit more mindful too about like pronouncing people's names, because I feel like when you are mispronouncing someone's name, you are in a way not disrespecting. But I'm trying to find a better word for this, but you're like, you're not showing respect towards the person's story, and you know. And then again, some people, I think they just they may not feel comfortable asking you how to pronounce it. But I for me, I always do it.

29:37 If it's the name that I'm not that familiar with, I do it because I'm coming on air and we're putting it out there, so I want to make sure I'm putting it out there correctly. Now, I think there was only one guest that I had that her name. It was just a tongue twister, you know, it was. It was just hard for me to pronounce it correctly. But I still try to make that effort to do that because I knew just looking at the name. I couldn't just come on air and automatically think I knew. What was yeah, yeah, for sure. And I'm not like I know this. Sometimes it's it could be like a you know, an honest mistake. We don't do it on purpose, but I realized that it's important to ask people's name before because names do carry a meaning, they do carry a history story, you know, they do carry a lot, and sometimes behind the name there is really a lot. And so for me, it's something that I'm a bit more mindful now. And I'm very curious now when it comes to two names that I'm not used to. I know there is there's so much that this person can share about themselves.

30:50 Well, it's it's amazing that you say that, because my name I always felt that it wasn't that uncommon, But you wouldn't believe how many people pronounced mine, well one, because they assume that it's supposed to be pronounced a certain way when they look at it, and you know, it's not. It can be pronounced several different ways, but they always assume the I guess their version of what they want it to be. So, you know, I get that too. I just correct them and then let it go and you know, and hope that they remember, Okay, that's the way it's supposed to be pronounced. But yeah, I totally understand, and I definitely think that if you see someone's name and you know you can't pronounce it, you really should ask, you know, out of respect that you like you said it, because you want to make sure that you're getting it right.

31:47 So I'm glad. I hope that I will. So tell me, looking back, what would you tell your younger self who was still searching for where she belonged? I think I will definitely tell her, like, give yourself permission to be whoever you want. Yeah, wow, Okay, now your book again. I keep going back to your book because I just think it's so fascinating.

32:34 What do you. Hope women will take away after reading your book or listening to your work? What do you hope they'll take away from that? To accept themselves for who they are and embrace every single aspect of their identity, and. To basically. Pursue in life which don't have to be necessarily what society expects them to be, so to put themselves first, to follow their dreams, to big, to dream big. Yeah okay.

33:14 And just to make sure the listening audience know the title of the book, let me give the title again. It is I want to make sure I got it right. It's this Her book is discovering your Identity, a rebirth from interracial struggle. Is that the entire I gave it the entitle entire time. Okay, that's what it is, a rebirth, discovering your identity, a rebirth from interracial struggle. So I just wanted to make every sure that everybody know since we keep kind of alluding to the book that remember with the title, and I'm going to type it in the chat so that it can go across screen and be on there too. So finally, what's next for you?

34:04 And how do you hope to continue empowering women to live boldly and unapologetic. So definitely, I do have a lot of things in mind, and there are a lot of things that are in the in the progress. So I definitely want to continue volunteering and being part of the organization Women and Leadership as the culture for the Manchelle chapter and create events and community over there for the women in Montreal. I do want to continue mentoring. I am a big advocate when it comes to mentoring and sharing your wisdom with the other women, and I think that happens really through conversations from one woman to another woman. And the other thing that I want to do and you like did it, which is to deliver ethitics. Eventually it's my it's my big dream is to be on the stage and speak.

34:59 So I've been, uh, I've been working hard for Dowin, but it's been quite challenging, I have to say challenging so far. Hey, that look okay, now let's not go back into that, uh, that syndrome again. You'll be able to do it. It can be done, so we know it can be done. So that's what we're going to keep thinking that you will get that done. So tell me if you have one piece of advice. To leave with our viewers and our listeners, what would that advice be? One piece of advice We need to invest your time in getting knowledge, to continue studying and to.

35:48 Have a life as a lifelong learner. I've heard that. And what if if our viewers and listeners wanted to get a copy of your book, where can they get it? And also if they wanted to reach out to you, how can they do so? Yes, So my book is called Discovering Your Identity Reverse from Inteition Struggle. It's available on Amazon and if people want to connect with me, I have a LinkedIn profile called Omeho Sign. I have a YouTube channel called Sign and my podcast is available on Apple and Spotify, and it's called Stories Beyond Orders. Absolutely, and I also made sure to put your email address.

36:32 It's also running across it has run across the screen. So I just want to thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your journey with us. It has definitely been powerful. I was I was just excited when you reached out and wanted to be on the show, and after seeing your book and knowing your journey, it was it's just great to have you here. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you alrighty, you take care and hopefully we'll see you again when you do your ten X talk. We'll bring you back to tell us about thanks. All righty okay, So thanks again to my guests, Miss Ermie Hassan, and now I'm just going to give you all a little bit of what's going to be going on. I am honored, of course, to share a continually share that I'm officially one of the founding women on the empower Her Wall by she Rises Studios in partnership with Phoenix TV, a global movement of showcasing two hundred trail blazing women on one powerful digital wall inside Allegiance Stadium in Las Vegas, Nevada.

37:55 So on February twenty second, twenty twenty six, the empower Her Wall will be unveiled, and when the lights rise and the cameras roll, the world will witness something extraordinary. It will see two hundred women standing together, not in competition, not in division, but in unity, equality and shared prosperity. I'm also really really excited about the Successful Women Radio and TV show. As you know, we were on the feed Spots list of the top one hundred best career, mindset and working women podcasts, and that now we have gone from number sixteen on the list. Guess what to number eleven. Yay. I wish I had some streamers to put out there. I'm telling you that's not bad if I say so myself. So you know, this list highlights podcasts that empower women to build success successful careers, navigate workplace challenges, and find true fulfillment in work and life.

39:06 And I'm honored to be among those that are on that list. And as an example is our guest that was on here today telling us about her journey of how she did the things that she did. So those are the types of things that we want to continue to bring on the show and share with you all. Don't forget to make sure to check out my book, Show Up to Rise Up Explore the Transformative Power of a Positive Mindset, which achieved bestseller status on Amazon in the Women in Business category. It's also available. On Amazon and to get the book, you can put my name in the search box and it will come right up. Or you can email me directly at Madlin at ex WSI dot com, or go on my I should say, go on my website which is www dot EXWSI dot com, click on the Success Bookstore and you'll be able to also purchase the book from there. And if you have not viewed my TEDx talk that I did in Vancouver, Canada, make sure to do so. The topic was show Up to Rise Up, and you can watch it on YouTube. Just put my name in the search box, or you can send me an email at info at EXWSI dot com and I will send you

40:39 the direct link so that you can make sure to check it out. Because I'm always excited to see that It's still going out there. People are still viewing it. It's at two hundred and twenty six eight hundred and fourteen views, and of course my goal is to reach one million plus views. So I do want to thank you all in advance for your support and continuing to share, to like and commenting on the videos. So make sure you keep continuing to push it out there. I'm also a contributing writer to the on It magazine where I share nuggets and resources every month. Ow It magazine is a resource for personal and professional and business development, so make sure you get your free subscription and to do so, you can also contact me Madlin at EXWSI dot com for the details on getting your free description to own It magazine. Again, I want to I would like to thank my guests Ms. Irma Hassan, and my viewers and my listeners for joining me today. This is a successful women's show. I am your host, Doctor Madelin Ann Lewis, and if you would like to reach out to me,

42:09 you can email me at info at EXWSI dot com or go to my website www dot exwsi dot com and while you're there, you can download my free three part video series on three things every woman should do to position herself for executive leadership. I would also like you to sign up for my online course which is Cracked the Career Code how to Lead with Confidence, Charisma and Credibility. To sign up for the course, you can go to www dot crackthcreercode dot com. You can also reach out to me on all the social media platforms.

42:56 Don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Don't forget to subscribe to all the channels the YouTube channel of the Women for Women Network, also talk for TV and make sure that you like this episode. Make sure you share this episode with your friends, colleagues and all others. Again, this is the Success for Women's show. We are here every week. I am your host, doctor Madeleine Anne lewis helping women to accelerate the path to success. Thank you again for joining me. I love you all to life and as always, be well and stay safe out there.

43:45 This is success success. The world of sound trade. I'm still bubbing this Successful Women