Aug. 27, 2026

Trapped in Success

Show Notes
Transcript

Join Dr. Lewis in a conversation with Debbie Jackson, Personal Leadership Coach. Debbie Jackson is an accomplished leader, certified coach, and the creator of the Trapped in Success Solution™. With an honours degree in Computer Science, Debbie built an extensive corporate career spanning R&D, Engineering, Quality Assurance, IT, Learning and Development, and Services. Email: www.debleejacson@outlook.com Wessite: www.debbiejacksoncoaching.com

Success 4 Women is broadcast live Thursdays at 2PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Success 4 Women TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

Success 4 Women Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/success-4-women--3126970/support.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.050 --> 00:00:02.250
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

2
00:00:02.290 --> 00:00:04.230
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

3
00:00:04.269 --> 00:00:07.599
those of W4WN Radio, its employees, or affiliates. We make

4
00:00:07.660 --> 00:00:10.980
no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services, or

5
00:00:11.019 --> 00:00:13.939
products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,

6
00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:18.000
explicit or implied, shall be extended to W4WN Radio, its employees,

7
00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:20.539
or affiliates. Any questions or comments should be directed to

8
00:00:20.579 --> 00:00:23.750
those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W4WN Radio.

9
00:00:23.769 --> 00:00:27.390
This is success. Successful wins.

10
00:00:33.490 --> 00:00:44.299
Power's within them Rise up high The world's gonna listen

11
00:00:44.340 --> 00:00:58.759
Dreams ignite Unstoppable vision Oh Successful.

12
00:00:53.840 --> 00:01:01.280
Women Did you know women represent just 3% of Fortune

13
00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:06.049
500 CEOs and less than 15% of corporate executives at

14
00:01:06.129 --> 00:01:07.670
top companies worldwide?

15
00:01:08.209 --> 00:01:10.170
Have you wondered what.

16
00:01:10.030 --> 00:01:13.290
The secrets are to getting into the top ranks, whether

17
00:01:13.349 --> 00:01:16.689
in the private or public sector? Do you want to

18
00:01:16.769 --> 00:01:19.890
figure out how to stop being held back in your

19
00:01:19.950 --> 00:01:22.400
career or passed over for promotion?

20
00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:24.159
Then you're in the right place.

21
00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:28.400
Hi, I'm Dr. Madeline Ann Lewis, President and CEO of

22
00:01:28.439 --> 00:01:33.319
the Executive Women's Success Institute. I have decades of experience

23
00:01:33.400 --> 00:01:37.340
in the military, the federal government, and corporate America. And

24
00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:41.140
my mission is to help women succeed and tap into

25
00:01:41.180 --> 00:01:44.730
their full potential. I want to reach a million plus

26
00:01:44.810 --> 00:01:47.890
women around the world to become the leaders they are

27
00:01:47.969 --> 00:01:50.870
meant to be. So if you want to move into

28
00:01:50.909 --> 00:01:54.329
a management or executive level position, or maybe you are

29
00:01:54.349 --> 00:01:59.579
a female veteran transitioning out of the military into business entrepreneurship,

30
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:03.599
then reach out to the Executive Women's Success Institute at 301-693-3284.

31
00:02:08.729 --> 00:02:23.000
Let us get you on the fast track to success. Well,

32
00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:27.650
hello and welcome to the Successful Women Show, where you

33
00:02:27.710 --> 00:02:32.210
can view us on Talk4TV and listen to us on

34
00:02:32.229 --> 00:02:36.789
the Women for Women Network. I am Dr. Madeline Ann Lewis,

35
00:02:36.870 --> 00:02:41.490
your host. And my mission is to help women accelerate

36
00:02:41.530 --> 00:02:50.069
the path to success. Well, today's topic is trapped in success.

37
00:02:50.860 --> 00:02:56.659
And my guest today is Ms. Debbie Jackson. Let me

38
00:02:56.719 --> 00:02:59.960
just give you a little bit of background on Ms. Jackson.

39
00:03:00.680 --> 00:03:05.620
Debbie is a personal leadership coach. She is an accomplished leader,

40
00:03:06.860 --> 00:03:12.949
certified coach, and the creator of the Trapped in Success solution.

41
00:03:13.669 --> 00:03:18.169
With an honors degree in computer science, Debbie built an

42
00:03:18.250 --> 00:03:25.819
executive corporate career spanning R & D, engineering, quality assurance, IT,

43
00:03:26.340 --> 00:03:31.870
learning and development, and services. Through her trapped in success solution,

44
00:03:32.370 --> 00:03:39.020
she guides them through deep transformational coaching to reclaim clarity, confidence, alignment,

45
00:03:39.139 --> 00:03:45.659
and a healthier relationship with success questions. I would like

46
00:03:45.740 --> 00:03:50.599
to bring to the Successful Women's Show, Ms. Debbie Jackson.

47
00:03:52.860 --> 00:03:54.300
Hi, thank you for having me.

48
00:03:55.069 --> 00:03:57.789
It's a pleasure to have you on the show. I

49
00:03:57.849 --> 00:04:01.919
can't wait to hear all about your trapped in success.

50
00:04:02.360 --> 00:04:06.419
But before we get started, I always read the standard

51
00:04:06.500 --> 00:04:09.199
bio on my guests. But then I like to ask

52
00:04:10.340 --> 00:04:13.199
the guests just to tell us what you want us

53
00:04:13.259 --> 00:04:15.620
to know about Debbie Jackson.

54
00:04:16.850 --> 00:04:19.569
Well, I first of all, thank you for the introduction.

55
00:04:19.589 --> 00:04:22.069
I won't repeat any of that. You covered that very well.

56
00:04:22.529 --> 00:04:25.990
I think the biggest thing, especially for our listeners today

57
00:04:26.069 --> 00:04:28.189
that I want them to know about me is this.

58
00:04:28.970 --> 00:04:33.209
I come from a place of lived experience. So when

59
00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:35.920
I say I coach women who are trapped in success,

60
00:04:36.379 --> 00:04:41.319
I've been there. I have felt the fear, the fear

61
00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:47.939
of being to every outside view is successful, but feeling

62
00:04:47.980 --> 00:04:51.860
like a stranger in my own life, in my own career.

63
00:04:52.660 --> 00:04:57.540
And I felt the guilt about that of feeling ungrateful

64
00:04:57.620 --> 00:05:00.670
of saying, well, how can I be like, I've got everything.

65
00:05:01.029 --> 00:05:03.029
I set the goals, I set the mission and I

66
00:05:03.069 --> 00:05:06.509
achieved it. So why, why should I feel, you know,

67
00:05:06.870 --> 00:05:11.269
why am I not ungrateful? So I have felt that,

68
00:05:11.550 --> 00:05:16.100
but I've also leaned into the courage that it takes

69
00:05:16.459 --> 00:05:21.269
to take the steps to, come into alignment and get

70
00:05:21.329 --> 00:05:24.519
out of feeling trapped in success. So that's, I think,

71
00:05:24.579 --> 00:05:27.879
really what I would want listeners to know is this

72
00:05:27.959 --> 00:05:31.000
is a lived experience. I come from a place of

73
00:05:31.079 --> 00:05:35.620
empathy and compassion because I have walked in those steps myself. Wow.

74
00:05:36.980 --> 00:05:43.360
Well, now we know Debbie Jackson. So tell us, now

75
00:05:43.399 --> 00:05:48.259
you've worked with a lot of high-achieving women who feel

76
00:05:49.180 --> 00:05:53.180
trapped in success. So what does that mean? And how

77
00:05:53.319 --> 00:05:56.019
did you discover this pattern in your own life?

78
00:05:57.699 --> 00:05:59.810
It's a great question, because when I came up with

79
00:05:59.870 --> 00:06:02.290
my 12-week online program, and I called it the Trapped

80
00:06:02.329 --> 00:06:07.089
in Success Solution, the terms, what I was wanting to

81
00:06:07.129 --> 00:06:13.560
capture was this tension that women living in this experience,

82
00:06:13.620 --> 00:06:18.290
in this situation, that they're feeling that a If we

83
00:06:18.329 --> 00:06:21.589
think of success, this is a positive. This is a

84
00:06:21.629 --> 00:06:24.990
good thing. This is something that we should all want.

85
00:06:25.889 --> 00:06:29.449
But then we think of trapped, and that's not something

86
00:06:29.490 --> 00:06:31.910
most of us would want to be in any connotation, right?

87
00:06:31.970 --> 00:06:35.670
Trapped carries something negative. And this is exactly the tension

88
00:06:35.689 --> 00:06:38.560
that builds in women who are in this situation. They

89
00:06:38.600 --> 00:06:42.720
have the positive with that perceived negative. So there's a

90
00:06:42.779 --> 00:06:44.470
tension there of.

91
00:06:46.509 --> 00:06:50.100
Feeling trapped in everything that you thought you wanted or

92
00:06:50.199 --> 00:06:53.639
believed you wanted. So that was really what I was

93
00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:56.379
going for is to try and bring the energy or

94
00:06:56.420 --> 00:06:59.540
the feeling to that tension that lives in the women

95
00:06:59.579 --> 00:07:02.920
that I work with. And in terms of my pattern,

96
00:07:02.939 --> 00:07:06.709
I have a feeling it probably showed up even as

97
00:07:06.790 --> 00:07:12.139
I was in my post-secondary education, getting my degree. But

98
00:07:12.319 --> 00:07:15.160
where I really, and in hindsight, it's become very clear,

99
00:07:15.220 --> 00:07:19.129
but where I started to step back and reflect was

100
00:07:20.069 --> 00:07:22.550
I've always been a learner. If you've ever done something

101
00:07:22.589 --> 00:07:25.730
with one of my strengths, I always wanted to sign

102
00:07:25.829 --> 00:07:28.439
up and say, oh, I'll take that new program. We'll

103
00:07:28.449 --> 00:07:31.899
take that new project. I'll try that organization. I'll go

104
00:07:31.959 --> 00:07:35.379
into that role. I was always moving, always trying new things.

105
00:07:35.420 --> 00:07:37.019
And I always thought, well, it's because I'm a learner.

106
00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:40.620
I like the new experiences. As I started to look

107
00:07:40.680 --> 00:07:46.459
at that pattern, that was less, and it was more

108
00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:51.870
about me trying to find my fit, trying to find

109
00:07:52.129 --> 00:07:55.870
what brought me purpose and joy and meaning. And that's

110
00:07:56.069 --> 00:07:58.769
really when I started to say, okay, there's more here.

111
00:07:58.850 --> 00:08:01.870
This isn't just me being curious and wanting to learn

112
00:08:01.910 --> 00:08:05.189
all these different things. This is, I am trying to

113
00:08:05.250 --> 00:08:07.800
find something. I'm searching for something.

114
00:08:10.110 --> 00:08:16.689
So you also talk about, though, the alignment part and

115
00:08:16.750 --> 00:08:23.509
the reinvention part. What does aligned reinvention look like for

116
00:08:23.550 --> 00:08:29.230
a woman who appear successful, but like you said, she

117
00:08:29.290 --> 00:08:31.060
may feel disconnected inside?

118
00:08:32.919 --> 00:08:37.139
So aligned reinvention for me, and the reason I put

119
00:08:37.179 --> 00:08:40.379
aligned in front of it is because Reinvention is a

120
00:08:40.419 --> 00:08:43.480
heavily used word nowadays. I've even heard it associated with

121
00:08:43.539 --> 00:08:47.980
midlife crisis, which I think is silly, but we can reinvent.

122
00:08:48.059 --> 00:08:51.200
Like I could decide today, like I've been very curious

123
00:08:51.299 --> 00:08:55.059
about the nursing profession. I'm going to take some courses

124
00:08:55.100 --> 00:08:57.360
and I'm going to try and become a nurse. I'm

125
00:08:57.519 --> 00:09:01.580
going to reinvent into that. The reason I add aligned

126
00:09:01.960 --> 00:09:05.340
is I want that reinvention to be in alignment with

127
00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:08.259
who you are now, who you are becoming now. what

128
00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:13.370
aligns with yourself, your purpose. So it's not just a reinvention.

129
00:09:13.750 --> 00:09:18.830
And I don't say that lightly because reinventing is effort, right?

130
00:09:19.230 --> 00:09:23.149
And it is a scary thing. But aligned, when you

131
00:09:23.190 --> 00:09:26.730
go through it, you want to come out as someone

132
00:09:27.389 --> 00:09:29.549
who you are meant to be, who you are now.

133
00:09:30.200 --> 00:09:33.480
not a version of what you were 10 years ago,

134
00:09:33.500 --> 00:09:36.500
not what people might think you should be, not what

135
00:09:36.519 --> 00:09:38.580
you think you might want to be in 10 years.

136
00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:41.519
It's who am I now? And that's why I've put

137
00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:43.440
those two words together. And I always like to call

138
00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:46.759
it aligned reinvention is it's because we are reinventing to

139
00:09:46.820 --> 00:09:47.919
who we are now.

140
00:09:49.059 --> 00:09:52.960
Absolutely. So what was the moment in your life journey

141
00:09:52.980 --> 00:09:58.220
or in your own journey that, when you realized something

142
00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:06.830
had changed? I, like I said, I started to reflect

143
00:10:06.889 --> 00:10:10.909
on the pattern, but there was one specific point I remember.

144
00:10:11.309 --> 00:10:12.830
And I was in a role, I was with a

145
00:10:12.909 --> 00:10:15.519
great company, but I was in a role that was

146
00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:19.690
not aligned with what nourishes me by any means it

147
00:10:19.730 --> 00:10:23.490
was a support leadership role you know you're on call

148
00:10:23.490 --> 00:10:27.090
24 7 365 always in that escalation path nervous system

149
00:10:27.149 --> 00:10:30.460
never gets to calm down always is on that fight

150
00:10:30.500 --> 00:10:33.000
flight freeze never never knowing when you're going to have

151
00:10:33.039 --> 00:10:37.679
to take action and I'd had a particularly long tough

152
00:10:37.799 --> 00:10:40.500
week and it was an early spring Friday night and

153
00:10:40.519 --> 00:10:42.360
I thought I'm too tired to make dinner I'll fire

154
00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:44.230
the barbecue up put some food on it and that'll

155
00:10:44.250 --> 00:10:47.169
be dinner and I remember getting the food on and

156
00:10:47.220 --> 00:10:50.799
my phone rang yet again another escalation and I was

157
00:10:50.840 --> 00:10:54.240
just like I got off the phone and that evening

158
00:10:54.379 --> 00:10:57.480
I just declared you know what I don't know how

159
00:10:57.500 --> 00:11:00.580
I don't know exactly when by by the end of

160
00:11:00.620 --> 00:11:03.470
this calendar year I will not be in this role

161
00:11:04.570 --> 00:11:07.529
and I just I knew something had to change because

162
00:11:07.590 --> 00:11:10.870
I was also having physical symptoms health issues. Like my

163
00:11:10.929 --> 00:11:14.289
body was actually talking to me. And like many women,

164
00:11:14.409 --> 00:11:16.710
I was pushing that down and pushing that aside and saying, well,

165
00:11:16.750 --> 00:11:21.220
that'll pass. That's nothing. And until it started to kind

166
00:11:21.259 --> 00:11:23.840
of scream at me. And then I realized, okay, I've

167
00:11:23.879 --> 00:11:27.179
got to pay attention to this. I need to make

168
00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:30.379
some tough choices. And like I said, it was, I

169
00:11:30.440 --> 00:11:33.169
understand that fear because when I made that declaration, I

170
00:11:34.250 --> 00:11:37.500
didn't know. what that would look like. I didn't even

171
00:11:37.559 --> 00:11:40.720
for sure know where I'd be or what I'd be doing,

172
00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:43.139
but I just knew it had to change.

173
00:11:45.429 --> 00:11:51.049
And actually, it's a hard decision sometimes to make. And

174
00:11:51.389 --> 00:11:56.669
sometimes you don't see it as quickly as you hope.

175
00:11:56.789 --> 00:11:58.990
So by the time you do see it, it's like,

176
00:11:59.570 --> 00:12:00.809
why did I wait so long?

177
00:12:02.789 --> 00:12:05.649
Exactly. And in my case, I think my body was

178
00:12:05.950 --> 00:12:10.509
giving me that final nudge because mentally my head was

179
00:12:11.009 --> 00:12:14.230
rationalizing it away as don't worry when things calm down,

180
00:12:14.549 --> 00:12:17.149
you'll get some rest and you'll be fine. And the

181
00:12:17.169 --> 00:12:19.480
thing is, in that type of role, it never calms down.

182
00:12:19.659 --> 00:12:21.580
And it's not a slight, like I said, on the role,

183
00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:24.500
there are people who thrive much better in a firefighting

184
00:12:24.559 --> 00:12:27.940
type role. I did not. And that was something I

185
00:12:27.980 --> 00:12:31.409
learned about myself. And That was one of the things

186
00:12:31.509 --> 00:12:33.830
I had to learn when I was choosing something different

187
00:12:33.850 --> 00:12:37.379
was it would not be a firefighting type of role.

188
00:12:37.860 --> 00:12:42.059
But you're right. We do. We're very good at rationalizing

189
00:12:42.139 --> 00:12:46.700
away what we're feeling. And sometimes, sadly, it takes the

190
00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:49.039
body to say, OK, if you're not going to take action.

191
00:12:49.620 --> 00:12:51.090
I'm going to force you to take action.

192
00:12:51.230 --> 00:12:54.889
Oh, yeah, it absolutely that happens. And I know it does,

193
00:12:54.970 --> 00:12:59.169
because I know when I was in my organization, I

194
00:12:59.210 --> 00:13:01.669
did a lot of traveling. And I mean, when I

195
00:13:01.710 --> 00:13:05.129
say traveling, it was like I always had a suitcase packed.

196
00:13:05.269 --> 00:13:07.860
It was it was as if I, you know, I

197
00:13:07.960 --> 00:13:11.039
never unpacked a suitcase unless it was I got home

198
00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:13.580
just to take the dirty clothes out, put some more

199
00:13:13.620 --> 00:13:17.519
clean ones in and I'm off again. And at some point,

200
00:13:17.639 --> 00:13:19.600
it got to the point where I was like, okay,

201
00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:23.299
I just, this is enough. I just can't do this anymore.

202
00:13:23.340 --> 00:13:27.820
And now, you know, after I left the organization, I

203
00:13:27.860 --> 00:13:31.600
retired from all of that. And I did go to

204
00:13:31.620 --> 00:13:34.019
a few places that I actually wanted to go to

205
00:13:34.070 --> 00:13:36.470
that was on my bucket list. But now it's almost

206
00:13:36.519 --> 00:13:40.110
like I don't really want to travel that much anymore

207
00:13:40.269 --> 00:13:43.789
because it reminds me so much of all the traveling

208
00:13:43.830 --> 00:13:44.450
that I did.

209
00:13:44.470 --> 00:13:45.570
So, yeah.

210
00:13:46.539 --> 00:13:48.580
And like you said, I really got to the point

211
00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:52.179
where I felt drained. I felt, you know, I was

212
00:13:52.259 --> 00:13:55.000
burned out. And I was getting to the point where

213
00:13:55.039 --> 00:13:57.370
I was getting angry with them. It's like, don't you

214
00:13:57.389 --> 00:14:02.590
have anybody else that can do this, you know? So, yeah,

215
00:14:02.950 --> 00:14:03.730
it takes a toll.

216
00:14:04.669 --> 00:14:07.210
Yeah, and it does. It can build into resentment. And

217
00:14:07.269 --> 00:14:09.049
that's one of the risks if we let it go

218
00:14:09.090 --> 00:14:12.139
too long. Then we do tend to blame those around

219
00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:15.659
us rather than saying maybe it's me in this role.

220
00:14:16.029 --> 00:14:18.659
that isn't the right fit for where I'm at now.

221
00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:19.600
Exactly.

222
00:14:20.139 --> 00:14:20.460
Yeah.

223
00:14:21.580 --> 00:14:24.639
You know, and also what we do, we see a

224
00:14:24.700 --> 00:14:28.320
lot of this, you know, women who are accomplished and

225
00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:32.080
they're struggling, but why do you believe so many accomplished

226
00:14:32.139 --> 00:14:40.320
women struggle silently with overwhelm, disengagement or feeling stuck? Why

227
00:14:40.360 --> 00:14:44.129
don't they just suffer with this and struggle with it so,

228
00:14:44.389 --> 00:14:44.789
so much?

229
00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:48.659
Well, I think there's a few, a few things going

230
00:14:48.740 --> 00:14:52.429
on there. The first one is fear, right? As I said,

231
00:14:52.509 --> 00:14:56.570
even when I made my declaration, I didn't know what

232
00:14:56.610 --> 00:14:59.710
the next step would look like, even though inside we

233
00:14:59.750 --> 00:15:01.789
do know, and that's the work I love doing with

234
00:15:01.870 --> 00:15:05.820
women is, is helping them discover that, right? Because nobody

235
00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:07.559
can tell you that answer, but yourself.

236
00:15:08.059 --> 00:15:08.320
Yes.

237
00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:12.519
But there is a fear there. If, if it isn't logically,

238
00:15:12.559 --> 00:15:15.200
these are high performing, high achieving women used to a plan.

239
00:15:16.259 --> 00:15:18.720
if I don't know what that step is, there's a

240
00:15:18.759 --> 00:15:21.990
lot of fear there. And of course, there's a lot

241
00:15:22.029 --> 00:15:23.850
of fear of judgment, right?

242
00:15:24.009 --> 00:15:24.309
Oh, yeah.

243
00:15:24.529 --> 00:15:26.370
Okay, what are people going to think? What are my

244
00:15:26.429 --> 00:15:28.669
family going to think? You know, am I going to

245
00:15:28.690 --> 00:15:30.549
be labeled that midlife crisis person?

246
00:15:30.570 --> 00:15:32.330
Because I'm, yeah.

247
00:15:32.350 --> 00:15:34.070
I'm going to walk away from this. How can I

248
00:15:34.110 --> 00:15:36.309
do that? And then there's the fear of, I have

249
00:15:36.350 --> 00:15:38.509
a mortgage. I have bills to pay. I got kids.

250
00:15:38.529 --> 00:15:39.450
What if I fail?

251
00:15:39.490 --> 00:15:42.610
Yeah, you know, what if I try something and fail?

252
00:15:42.649 --> 00:15:47.500
Yeah. This audience, because... our women are so high achieving

253
00:15:47.529 --> 00:15:51.080
and high performing, failure is a huge fear. We can't

254
00:15:51.139 --> 00:15:55.159
underestimate that as well. So there's so much fear going on.

255
00:15:55.899 --> 00:15:58.159
But the other thing I want to call out is

256
00:15:58.940 --> 00:16:01.879
if you look at the conditioning that we as women

257
00:16:01.940 --> 00:16:06.679
go through, we are conditioned to push. We are conditioned to,

258
00:16:07.139 --> 00:16:09.779
I mean, whether you have children or not, when you

259
00:16:09.799 --> 00:16:14.039
think about it, we're genetically built to push another human

260
00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:18.389
being out of us. that's that's not trivial and that's

261
00:16:18.830 --> 00:16:22.830
painful we and we are rewarded and praised for being

262
00:16:22.909 --> 00:16:27.789
able to push through hold it together be resilient you

263
00:16:27.850 --> 00:16:31.580
know support and nurture everybody right from when we were

264
00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:34.299
little be a good little girl be supportive be kind

265
00:16:34.740 --> 00:16:38.659
you know we're very conditioned to putting ourselves behind everybody

266
00:16:38.759 --> 00:16:43.110
else so put the fear and how much fear is

267
00:16:43.159 --> 00:16:46.299
involved And then how conditioned we are to say, well,

268
00:16:46.720 --> 00:16:50.120
do we really want to, quote, be selfish and try

269
00:16:50.179 --> 00:16:54.840
and do something for ourselves? I think those factors really

270
00:16:55.259 --> 00:16:59.639
hold women back. So they stay in silence, which is

271
00:16:59.700 --> 00:17:03.299
really a survival strategy. That's how they're surviving day to

272
00:17:03.320 --> 00:17:06.220
day is just remain silent and power through.

273
00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:10.759
And that's the biggest one, just remain silent and push

274
00:17:10.819 --> 00:17:15.099
through it. That's exactly what happens. That's what we tend

275
00:17:15.140 --> 00:17:15.500
to do.

276
00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:21.180
Yeah, because otherwise you might be perceived as whining or emotional. And,

277
00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:25.039
you know, we've heard that before. And so we just

278
00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:27.980
stay silent and we smile and we push on through.

279
00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:35.460
Now, you created a program specifically for women in this situation.

280
00:17:35.869 --> 00:17:39.430
Can you share what inspired you to build and what

281
00:17:39.490 --> 00:17:42.089
makes it different from traditional coaching?

282
00:17:43.690 --> 00:17:47.410
So I guess the biggest inspiration for doing it was

283
00:17:47.490 --> 00:17:50.799
I wished it had existed when I was going through

284
00:17:50.839 --> 00:17:54.420
this because there was no real structure or framework or

285
00:17:54.519 --> 00:17:57.960
process or tools that I could easily grasp to help

286
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:00.480
me find my way through. So there was a lot

287
00:18:00.519 --> 00:18:03.380
of trial and error and going down one path. It

288
00:18:03.420 --> 00:18:06.549
didn't work going down another path. So I really wanted

289
00:18:06.589 --> 00:18:12.450
to create something that would take the uncertainty out of

290
00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:18.160
it for women, show some practical, tactical framework for doing that,

291
00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:20.700
and try and remove some of the fear from it.

292
00:18:20.859 --> 00:18:25.140
And what makes it different from traditional coaching is there

293
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:28.579
is a key learning aspect, right? There's 12 modules, 12 weeks.

294
00:18:29.609 --> 00:18:32.450
It's about maybe 10 minutes of learning a week. I

295
00:18:32.470 --> 00:18:35.750
try to keep it small. Women, we do not need,

296
00:18:35.789 --> 00:18:37.809
if we've come to this point, we do not need

297
00:18:37.930 --> 00:18:41.440
more burden put on us of heavy lifting. And then

298
00:18:41.740 --> 00:18:45.579
there's homework. And that homework could be reflection. It could

299
00:18:45.619 --> 00:18:48.900
be a variety of things. But all of the tools,

300
00:18:49.140 --> 00:18:50.940
all of the things that are needed to do that

301
00:18:51.019 --> 00:18:54.130
are there. And so you get to work through it

302
00:18:54.230 --> 00:18:57.880
at your own pace in your own fashion. There's still

303
00:18:57.980 --> 00:19:00.420
weekly group coaching calls. So you can come to a call,

304
00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:05.480
ask questions, get clarity guidance. Uh, there's other women. So

305
00:19:05.500 --> 00:19:08.170
there's a community there. I have a private Facebook group.

306
00:19:08.210 --> 00:19:11.829
So you have that sense of community with women who

307
00:19:11.890 --> 00:19:14.650
are also going through the same thing. So it has

308
00:19:14.710 --> 00:19:19.369
this kind of safe, um, environment or space to be

309
00:19:19.450 --> 00:19:24.049
able to try, to learn, even to fail, right? Because

310
00:19:24.089 --> 00:19:27.059
we're all in the same boat in that situation. And

311
00:19:27.119 --> 00:19:31.140
it really, it looks at bringing clarity and structure to

312
00:19:31.220 --> 00:19:37.140
something that when you're going through it looks very uncertain

313
00:19:37.559 --> 00:19:40.940
and gray. Absolutely. Absolutely.

314
00:19:41.539 --> 00:19:46.720
Now there's a lot of myths that's surrounds when we

315
00:19:46.779 --> 00:19:50.759
talk about reinvention and different things like that. What do

316
00:19:50.779 --> 00:19:54.859
you think the biggest myths women believe about reinvention and

317
00:19:55.319 --> 00:20:00.069
how do these myths keep them, actually keep them stuck?

318
00:20:02.650 --> 00:20:05.329
Great question. I think one of the biggest myths is

319
00:20:05.940 --> 00:20:07.900
I see. And there's probably two or three big ones,

320
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:12.269
but one of the biggest ones is this whole belief that,

321
00:20:12.950 --> 00:20:14.869
oh my goodness, I've got to start all over, but

322
00:20:14.910 --> 00:20:18.730
I've invested so much. I've invested in an education. I've invested,

323
00:20:19.089 --> 00:20:22.809
you know, so many years at this company. So there's

324
00:20:22.890 --> 00:20:29.019
this myth that it involves starting over or starting from scratch.

325
00:20:29.720 --> 00:20:32.099
And that's one of the first discussions I have with

326
00:20:32.180 --> 00:20:34.900
women is, especially if I'm working one-on-one with them, is

327
00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:40.180
helping them realize that, you know, you've been building skills,

328
00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:45.769
you've acquired knowledge, you've gone through many learning experiences over

329
00:20:45.809 --> 00:20:49.109
your career, you've had opportunities, you've had challenges, you've had

330
00:20:49.250 --> 00:20:52.609
so much, and all of this now is coming together

331
00:20:52.690 --> 00:20:57.210
as wisdom. Something we don't really have straight out of university, right?

332
00:20:57.589 --> 00:21:01.380
We've got wisdom, and that's what makes it so exciting

333
00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:04.279
to As you do head on this journey, because you

334
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:07.170
are not starting from scratch. You are starting with a

335
00:21:07.269 --> 00:21:11.009
powerful foundation that you have been building of all of

336
00:21:11.069 --> 00:21:14.910
these assets that you've been learning, that you have been trying,

337
00:21:14.990 --> 00:21:19.039
that you have been succeeding, failing at. They're all there.

338
00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:22.640
So this is the wisdom that you're building from. And

339
00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:25.200
that's the wisdom that's going to guide you and that

340
00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:28.339
already knows what the next steps are. So I think

341
00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:31.599
that's the biggest one is just reminding women that it's

342
00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:37.200
not about starting over. I think another myth is, again,

343
00:21:37.880 --> 00:21:41.160
we're talking to high achieving, high performing women. You don't

344
00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:44.210
have to have the whole plan, right? You don't have

345
00:21:44.250 --> 00:21:46.789
to know, okay, here are all of the steps. Here's

346
00:21:46.829 --> 00:21:49.470
the targeted end date. Here's when I'm going to come through.

347
00:21:50.430 --> 00:21:53.509
You just need to take the next step. And a

348
00:21:53.630 --> 00:21:59.289
lot of this, and it's, discovery you just need to

349
00:21:59.329 --> 00:22:03.990
know the next step you're going to take absolutely again

350
00:22:04.009 --> 00:22:07.289
it's so i i would probably say those are the

351
00:22:07.329 --> 00:22:10.509
two big misses the starting over and then you know

352
00:22:10.609 --> 00:22:12.059
i don't have a good view i don't have a

353
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:15.299
whole plan i'm not really sure just take the next

354
00:22:15.339 --> 00:22:18.359
step just take the next step right yeah you'll know

355
00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:18.839
what it is.

356
00:22:21.079 --> 00:22:25.799
Now, in your program, you also guide women through reconnecting

357
00:22:26.099 --> 00:22:31.680
with purpose, self and community. So why are these three

358
00:22:31.740 --> 00:22:33.140
pillars so essential?

359
00:22:34.769 --> 00:22:39.950
So great question. The program is built on a foundation

360
00:22:39.970 --> 00:22:43.990
of connection because connection is so core. And as you said,

361
00:22:44.009 --> 00:22:47.680
the first pillar is connection to purpose, connection to self,

362
00:22:48.119 --> 00:22:51.549
connection to community. Well, purpose is your direction.

363
00:22:52.250 --> 00:22:53.630
Exactly.

364
00:22:53.779 --> 00:22:56.799
I always call it my North Star. So you need

365
00:22:56.880 --> 00:23:00.259
to be connected to your purpose, to your core values,

366
00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:03.900
so you know where you're headed. You know what brings

367
00:23:03.940 --> 00:23:06.519
you meaning right now. You know how you want to

368
00:23:06.579 --> 00:23:10.509
show up in the world. And then connection to self

369
00:23:10.910 --> 00:23:16.230
is about getting reconnected to the identity. That's your identity,

370
00:23:16.390 --> 00:23:19.170
who you are. So reconnecting to who you are now.

371
00:23:19.700 --> 00:23:23.579
Because again, so many women who are in this situation

372
00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:27.660
have got very good at getting on that treadmill, go, go, go, go, go,

373
00:23:27.720 --> 00:23:34.859
blinders on, deliver, deliver, that they've disconnected from themselves. They're

374
00:23:34.900 --> 00:23:38.619
not even sure how to reconnect with themselves. So that

375
00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:43.200
becomes a critical item to work with. And then lastly,

376
00:23:43.259 --> 00:23:46.369
connection to community. And I would say to the right

377
00:23:46.450 --> 00:23:50.559
supportive community, I mean, that's how we're going to transform.

378
00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:53.759
That's how we're going to evolve is through community. We're

379
00:23:53.799 --> 00:23:57.400
not meant to go through this type of aligned reinvention alone.

380
00:23:57.420 --> 00:24:00.980
And community is what's going to help keep us accountable.

381
00:24:01.299 --> 00:24:03.500
It's going to help make the change lasting. It's going

382
00:24:03.519 --> 00:24:06.519
to bring us joy as we connect to the communities

383
00:24:06.579 --> 00:24:10.500
that support who we are now and are in connection

384
00:24:10.519 --> 00:24:13.180
with who we are now, right? They may have similar purpose,

385
00:24:13.220 --> 00:24:17.460
similar values. So I find, and I know from my

386
00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:20.759
own experience, but when a woman gets truly connected to

387
00:24:20.779 --> 00:24:27.589
those three pillars, she becomes unstoppable. Unstoppable, right? It's watching

388
00:24:28.210 --> 00:24:31.849
the face light up, watching the energy shift. It's truly,

389
00:24:33.049 --> 00:24:38.250
you feel it. It's truly unstoppable versus if there's disconnection

390
00:24:38.309 --> 00:24:41.769
in any of those, you're right back into that survival strategy.

391
00:24:42.049 --> 00:24:43.170
They're just surviving. Exactly.

392
00:24:43.970 --> 00:24:49.410
Because the community also offers somewhat of support, too, because

393
00:24:49.450 --> 00:24:52.970
you have that network and you have the support that

394
00:24:53.009 --> 00:24:58.089
you can, in some cases, draw from. So that's definitely

395
00:24:58.150 --> 00:24:58.630
a big thing.

396
00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:02.240

Trapped in Success

Listen On

Featured Episodes

Recent Episodes