Inside Out Coaching

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Radio. I got the I Did
you know women represent just three percent of

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Fortune five hundred CEOs and less than
fifteen percent of corporate executives at top companies

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worldwide. Have you wondered what the
secrets are to getting into the top ranks,

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whether in the private or public sector? Do you want to figure out

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how to stop being held back in
your career? Are passed over for promotion,

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then you're in the right place.
Hi. I'm doctor Madelenie Lewis,

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President and CEO of the Executive Women's
Success Institute. I have decades of experience

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in the military, the federal government, and corporate America, and my mission

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is to help women succeed and tap
into their full potential. I want to

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reach a million plus women around the
world to become the leaders they are meant

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to be. So if you want
to move into a management or executive level

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position, or maybe you're a female
veteran transitioning out of the military into business

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entrepreneurship, then reach out to the
Executive Women's Success Institute at three zero one

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six nine three two eight four let
us get you on the fast track to

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success. Well. Hello, and
welcome to the Success for Women's Show,

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where you can view us on Talk
for TV and listen to us on the

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Women for Women Network. I am
doctor Madeline and lewis your host, and

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my mission is to help women accelerate
the path to success. Well, today's

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topic is inside out Coaching and my
guest is Miss Barbara fromont and I hope

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I pronounced that correctly. Barbara,
let me just give you a little bit

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of background about her. Barbara,
known as Barbs from my is passionate about

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empowering women to walk out the fullness
of who God created them to be in

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every relationship and area of their life
and work. She is a high performance,

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transformational life leadership development spiritual and business
coach, as well as the creator

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of a woman's business startup Mastermind and
a women's coaching group. For over twenty

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years, she has worked in the
corporate world, helping executives and teams to

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thrive and become more efficient. Her
mission is to empower women to master themselves,

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their relationships, and their purpose in
life by helping them to raise their

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consciousness and unleash their intuition. I'd
like to bring on to the show,

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miss Barbara format everyone, Hi,
love me to be with you. Last

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name correctly, is it fromat you
did? Yes? Yes, that's fine.

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Right. Well, here's the thing. I usually give the standard bio

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on all my guests, but then
I like to ask my guests to just

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tell us what you want us to
know about Barbara fromat WOW. I think

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I'm very aligned to what I've read
about you in terms of my greatest passion

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being to really empower women to fulfill
their highest potential and to really understand all

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the things that get in the way
of that. And for me, it's

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been quite a long journey, so
I've learned a lot through my MBA,

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through my coaching, through my twenty
years in corporate and I just love sort

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of sharing those nuggets of wisdom and
best practice with women and blowing the ceiling

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or all they're limiting beliefs and things
that have held them back and wrong thinking

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and just sort of setting them on
a new trajectory. That's what just lights

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my candles. And tell me,
do you most of the people that you

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work with as far as coaching,
I know you said you help executive team

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in their teams or is it mostly
women or is it a mixture of boat

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Yes, it is mostly women.
I mean in my corporate career, I

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did work closely with the leadership team, so I'm used to working with executives

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and teams, but I've now a
sort of honed in on women. That's

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my real passion because I've seen a
lot of things go on in corporate boardrooms

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and things diminishing behaviors there. And
I've also become quite an expert in terms

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of diminishing relationships at home or you
know, in domestic settings. So that's

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really what's propelled me to go forward
in every area examining these issues that are

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sometimes you know, hidden under the
carpet, but for me, they are

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the things that sort of move the
needle. We take the little those things

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and really deal with anything or anyone
in whatever environment that's diminishing women and equip

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them with the tools, the strategies, the language to navigate that well.

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Because from my experience anyway, this
is what's really lacking in the Western world

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in our education system. And it's
my passion because you know, for example,

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I went on a corporate training for
presentation skills workshop and these women were

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real high flyers, sort of banker
from investment banking and all these backgrounds,

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so they knew how to present.
There was no problem with their presentation skills.

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The course was ninety nine percent psychology
and it was all about, really

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when we got to the crux of
it, unraveling the situation in those two

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in boardrooms where they'd been diminished,
and that is what was behind them not

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being able to present well. They
hadn't known how to respond assertively and gracefully,

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or that they hadn't the language and
the tools. And I thought,

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my goodness, me, you know, that's what got me thinking on this

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journey, this is ridiculous that the
huge gap that even really intelligent women,

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you know, across the board,
we all seemed to suffer from this,

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you know, not being powered with
the right tools and strategies to hold ourselves

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well and to also understand consciousness and
the part that plays in our leadership styles,

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understand ourselves and what we're projecting.
So all the stuff is really really

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important. Yet when we're on the
trademal of our careers and it's all about

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you know, upskilling and the next
skill and all the stuff, which is

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all well and good, But until
you do the work on your inn the

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inner work on your identity and consciousness, you're going to keep attracting the same

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relationships and patterns that are dysfunctional often
and damaging. And yet we are not

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really equipped with the right tools to
know how to effectively cure them permanently or

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even just tweak certain things instead of
going from one extreme to the other.

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These conversations aren't really had. And
these other things in my experience that move

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the needle from women. Absolutely,
Wow, that is so key. So

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tell us why is learning about self
mastery so important for aspiring professional women and

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entrepreneurs. I know that you look
into that a lot, so tell us

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about that. Well, this is
this is again going back to consciousness,

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which I sort of learned in depth
on my MBA and it was quite staggered,

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if I'm honest, that I'd never
really heard about this stuff until then

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to this degree. So you know, understanding consciousness and how to permanently and

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effectively deal with the ego wounds that
we all have is so pivotal because at

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each level of success, as they
say, at each level, there's a

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new devil. But what happens is
we can even work on these ego wounds

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to a certain degree and think we've
nailed them, but if we haven't killed

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them properly, they pop up again
at the next lept. So you know,

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this is fundamental mental in terms of
getting accelerating your transformation in every area.

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And this is what people don't really
understand or are conscious about because these

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conversations aren't had. They try and
work on everything else, but that's not

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what's going to move the needle.
So, for example, if I give

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you, I think most people would
have come across maybe the eniogram in corporate

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circles, and that sort of outlines
sort of nine basic personality types. We've

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all got these shadow personality types to
lesser or great or greater degrees. But

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in my experience like the first one
helper across the board. Women are all

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guilty of that. We all have
too much helper. And that's also because

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we've been conditioned. In most societies, that's the way women and young girls

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are brought up. It's good,
it's lovely to be helpful, and I'm

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not saying it's not. It's a
good thing to be helpful to a degree,

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but then it gets out of hand
and we start, you know,

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too much helpers. So we feel
guilty if we're not always helping, and

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then we start feeling resentful, and
we start experiencing burnout. And yet you

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know what happens then is that we
continue to attract more people into our life

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that need that kind of help,
and so we get more and more exasperated.

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I'm helping, I'm helping, and
you know why is this happening?

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And the cure is bitter and deeper
self care. And we think, oh,

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yeah, I know that on one
level, but that's selfish, that's

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you know, that's that's wrong,
that's that's selfish. Yeah, everybody else

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above myself. But until we actually
implement that at a very deep level,

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we just go on to attract people
that need that help and drain us.

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And so this is this is a
basic sort of thing on the consciousness scale,

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and we should be aware of its
kind of obvious. But again mainstream

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education wasn't really pointed out neither does
it point out what the cures are,

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what the only cures that are effective
that will work. So for example,

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also like with something that I had
which I thought and in society was celebrated

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as a great attribute, which was
my hatred of conflict as a peace lover.

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But you know, I was too
much on that on the fast scale

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of avoiding conflict, you know,
in my family, trying to keep the

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peace. Da da da da da. So for years and years, all

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I kept attracting was more and more
drama and more and more conflict. I

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shouldn't understand it. Nobody explained the
stuff to me, because actually that is

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not a good thing. In extreme. What I was meant to be learning

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was to do conflict well, not
to avoid it all together. So it's

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these kind of things that you know, the lightbulbs just go off for women

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when I start explaining consciousness and the
eniogram and practical terms, you know,

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it is really really life changing because
they not only are you identifying these shadow

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personalities in yourself, but you're you're
identifying them and the people you work with

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and therefore and live with. You're
able to handle them much better because you

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know the cure, not only that
you need, that they need, and

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when you apply that, that's what
works and stops the same dysfunctional patterns from

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coming in and sort of exacerbating.
And they're only exascerpating and getting worse because

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God is trying to show you something
needs healing here. But the problem is

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that ninety nine percent of the population
lives unconsciously. They live on default,

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they live on autopilot, they live
on survival mode. One percent lives consciously.

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And when you actually reflect on those
statistics, you think, my God,

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truly this can't be true. But
it is because the stuff isn't taught.

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This is what everybody needs to accelerate
every area of their life. Wow,

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you know you touched on an area
when you talked about the conflicts.

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I was talking to actually my niece
just yesterday, as a matter of fact,

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and she called me to tell me
about some drama that was going on,

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and what the things I asked her, I said, why is it

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all these things keep coming at you
like this, and she says, I

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don't know, because I'm always trying
to mind my own business. I'm always

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trying to keep the peace. I'm
always, you know, trying to avoid

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getting into any kind of confrontation.
She says, I just don't understand it.

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I said, well, maybe that's
the problem right there, exactly exactly

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that, and sometimes we need I
mean, I would have needed a spelling

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out as well. You know,
it's it's, it's, it's. It

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was a complete mental block for me. I just know, I'm an intelligent

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woman, but I I didn't get
it. I didn't get it, you

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know, I sort of yeah,
it's and I'm not the only one.

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I come across a lot of very
intelligent women who it's like a complete blight

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bulb. Yeah, it's it's like, you know, because she's so mild

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man and I taught and that one
another thing I told her. I said,

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you know, because you're the way
you are, a lot of people

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can read people and they see this
in you. And so that's why that

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you know, those opposite people opposite
from the way you are, that's what

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you attract and that's why you always
get this drama going on and this and

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this is this is also another touching
on a very clothes something close to my

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heart about sort of like emotional any
other form of abuse. Again, because

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it's not something that we are taught
in schools and we grow up in our

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society keeping taught about. So there's
a lot of confusion and also a lot

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of confusion in Christian circles about what
how to behave and react to it and

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everything else. But you know,
as our NBA teachers said, look,

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you know, young people who are
abused or older ones who abused, it's

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nobody's fault. But the reality is
that they are doing something at some level

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to attract that behavior. And it's
shocking. It's shocking when you think of

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it like that, but it's it's
you know, the way I see life

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now is this this constant innogram,
this constant scale you know of consciousness.

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You know, things are popping up. We need to tweak that a bit.

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If we go to an extreme,
then something else will come into our

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life. To think, now you're
going too much an extreme. Come back

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to the middle. Yeah, nobody
talks about if we just knew the stuff,

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we would save our site decades.
A party trying to figure it out,

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and you know, and certainly women
in those sort of cycles, even

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you know, bosses or you know, a lot of men are very dominant

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in corporate environments and intimidatory and all
this kind of stuff. This again,

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is where the stuff comes into its
own because it affects our leadership style.

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So you know, unless we are
you know, going about creating what they

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call synchronistic relationships, this is where
you know, we actually are able to

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hold our own power. We don't
give our own any power away. We

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hold onto our power. We remain
fixed on our vision, and we hold

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fast to our boundaries, and we're
unaffected by the style of anyone with whom

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we're interacting. So these strong,
aggressive, intimidatory, coercive, manipulative types

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do not affect us. Once we
know how to hold ourselves, once we're

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conscious and we can see what they're
doing, we can hold our power.

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And it is the most liberating thing
when you have you know, maybe suffered

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some form of emotional abuse and you
have not had the tools and the language

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to articulate that well navigate it at
all, and then suddenly into the be

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in this position where you have the
power and That is what I love coaching

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women on because you the transformation is
huge, and that is where I believe

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God's heart is for each one of
the women to you know, be able

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to live out the fullness of our
potential because in all shapes and forms and

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society and relationships at work, home, even you know, you must often

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encounter it, maybe with racial thing. There's these things going on that we

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are meant to take charge of.
But until you start understanding the consciousness side

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up. But you know, I
just really think it's it's such an effective

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and powerful way of understanding it,
curing it, holding onto your power.

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And once you do that, that
is what changes you. That's what changes

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your outer reality, and that is
what changes everyone around you. I have

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been married for twenty eight years and
I nearly went through a divorce three times,

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which happy now, but I can
honestly say, and I've done a

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lot of inner work on myself.
But when I changed myself with this stuff

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and God speaking into my identity to
walk out the fullness of my God given

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identity with authority, when I allowed
him to speak into who I was in

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him and reveal himself to who I
was and him, you know, all

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the stuff you know, really changed, and I believe that's a journey in

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a process that most women need to
go on to and not be scared about

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going on, because it's going to
liberate them into the fullness of who they

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created to be. Absolutely. Now, do you think there's anything specific that

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they can do that would help them
to become say, unshakable and stressful and

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taxic environs environments when they're at work
or you know, are at home.

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Yeah, I mean, I think
one of the biggest things, and I've

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come across this with all women's boundaries. Again, this is another thing that

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is appalling in terms of the education
we receive and the conversations we have.

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So I'm very grateful and thankful to
you for raising the awareness on these issues.

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But you know, again, understanding
and articulating boundaries, menting them,

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enforcing them, maintaining them, understand
you know, knowing the language of how

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to express them when boundaries are crossed. All this stuff is really very very

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important and and also worth its its
weight and goal to get coaching around because

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you know, it's it is so
important in terms of managing toxic environments as

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well. I think again it's it's
it's more about understanding consciousness. It's more

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about going on this journey of living
out your purpose fully understanding your God given

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up identity and walking that out that
with authority, the authority God gives us

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and wants us to have. Because
when we start doing that and living our

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purpose, the purpose that we're meant
to be living, we stop needing the

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approval of others. Honestly, yea, I could't believe it when it happened

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to me. I really, and
it takes you to a different level where

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you kind of really you don't care
about the praises or the criticism of men

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because you're on your course. It's
like as as like a self actualization thing.

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That is where we all need to
get to. So if we can

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accelerate and help women accelerate to get
there, they're going to you know,

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make the most of their potential from
that point, because you know, it's

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it's It's why I call my coaching
company inside out Coaching, Life and Leadership

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Coaching, because all transformation comes from
the inside out. We have to become

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the people we need to be first
in order to attract and steward well the

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success we want. So that's an
identity piece. And our whole society is

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about you know, the doing,
calling the D D D doing all they're

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doing, all they're doing, but
that you know that is not working on

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your character and identity. That's what's
going to move the needle because when that

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is unshakable, that's when you can
build everything else. It's it's the foundation.

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And you know the thing with identity
is that I think we could all,

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no matter what stage of life we're
at, we could all benefit from

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continual coaching on our God given identity
because there is a layer upon layer upon

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layer upon layer, and He's got
more for us in every single area of

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our life. And it's it just
goes on opening up. And that's what's

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so fabulous about it. But absolutely
because we don't do this work trying to

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build on flimsy foundations and we'll get
to a certain level of success, But

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because we haven't worked on our character
and our identity to an equal extent,

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that is when the problems come.
But people don't understand that. Wow.

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Now you also mentioned you touched on
synergistic relationships. What is the importance of

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proactively nurturing the right synergistic relationships and
creating the right inner circle. Yeah,

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I mean, this is this is
absolutely huge. So I talk about consciousness,

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and so part of this is also
understanding the relationship styles from which you've

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come. Your parents, for example, So if you've come from a sort

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of co dependent if your parents have
like a codependent relationship, it's likely that

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you're probably gonna adopt some of those
traits and attract a similar sort of relationship.

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But the important thing to notice that
we're all capable of evolving when we

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know these tools, and we can
evolve. And you know, so evolving

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from say a codependent relationship where you
are, you know, sucking each other's

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energy, you're so dependent on each
other and you can't make decisions on your

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own and it's stifling and everything else, to a synergistic relationship, which is

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one where if you think of yourself
and the other person as two circles,

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you're in no way overlapping each other. You're just touching each other on the

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borders. And how I like to
think about it is that it is they

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are very empowering relationships. So one
is not in any way overshadding shadowing the

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other person. You are bouncing off
each other. So it's like brainstorming,

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you know, when you sometimes they
are in a conversation with a like minded

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soul. Get this with coaches,
and you start talking and you spark off

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each other and you sparkle the energy, they spark off your energy, and

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it's it just like combusts into something
beautiful, but in no way feel threatened

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or intimidated by you know, each
other's you know, a personality or whatever.

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That is a fully, fully sallergistic
relationship. So it's it is difficult

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for women. And I was in
this situation for a lot of a lot

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of the time. If you are
in families and things with people who are

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negative and who critical, who are
energy drainers, who can also feel jealous

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and threatened by your achievements, by
your success, and and then you know

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you don't have the right support,
You don't have people adding to you.

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The people that are in your life
are are not really adding to you,

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They're just training you. So it
is es seem sure to create and strategically

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and intentionally create the in a circle
of the five people you are going to

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spend your most time with. And
this is the journey that sort of God

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took me on because I couldn't really
find the right when I was starting on

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our business, the right people in
my church. And you know, I

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kept looking and all the group wasn't
created, or I'd find a mastermind enough

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to pay lots of money. I
don't want to pay lots of money.

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And then he led me to read
Think and Grow Rich, which is a

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classic novel that most people will have
read by Napoleon Hill. And what's fascinating

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about that is it It documents the
lives of ten of the most successful men

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in history, the likes of Theodore
Rusa full Bell, all these people,

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and the book is about cultivating spiritual
abundance in every area of your life,

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and that includes, you know,
creating wealth and having a successful career or

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whatever whatever they did, which they
did do. But this single reason that

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each of them attributed their success,
their greatest success too, was being part

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of a mastermind. And in that
mastermind they were able to pour into each

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other. And you know, they
are others to pour into themselves, and

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they poured into their communities. So
regardless of what you believe, there was

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very strong spiritual principles at play there
that attributed to their success. And that

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was this being part of a community
and pouring your skills into others and letting

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them pour them theirs into yours,
sharing them and also blessing using what you've

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been given your talents to bless your
communities. And as these men did this,

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they not only became the wealthiest men, but they became the most happiest

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and fulfilled. So, you know, I thought, this is what I

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need asways starting up my business.
I thought, oh, God's saying,

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start up your own master mind.
I said, I don't know how to

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I haven't got the skills. I
don't know how to do. I'm the

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stretch under the time and the enjine
and all the six uses, nor long

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or and then eat. What popped
up on my phone one day was a

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summary from Audible out to structure and
run your own master mind based on think

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and grow rich. Well, I
know when God's talking to me. And

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that was more than a coast.
All right, God, all right,

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I'll do it. But it's going
to have to be really simple, and

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it's going to have to add value
to everybody concern. So I literally went

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to a networking group and people,
this is where I talk about synchronicities,

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because I wouldn't have believed it before
if I hadn't lived it. People in

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this networking I don't know if I'm
Adam. They come to me and start

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saying, well, they want to
join a Mastermind group, and I mean

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it was just joining and I've now
set up this Mastermind group. We meet

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monthly. It's completely free, women
all around the UK and it is just

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so empowering. We've got a WhatsApp
group. We keep everything simple, minimum

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of slides. We take it in
turns to host the meeting. So as

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I've said, it's it's not I'm
not the leader. I'm We're all empowering

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each other and we go on like
that. We run it on the structure,

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we bring our business issue and the
other's brainstorm on it. We've got

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a wide field expertise and honestly it
has taken us all to a different level

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because a lot of us are We're
on our own on this very lonely entrepreneurial

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journey and God has just done incredible
things. We cover each other in prayer

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and it's just miracle after miracle after
miracle. So I tell you that to

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really sort of encourage women, and
that's what I gave My testimony in church

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about as well was you know,
if you cannot find the right in a

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circle, God could be prompting you
to start your own and to pay attention

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to that, because my life and
my business and my dreams for my business

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were largely on hold and it didn't
take off until I obeyed that leading and

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I stepped out and I did something
about it. And now I've got the

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support structure that I need to discuss
practical stuff, business stuff. I've also

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got the spiritual support and covering,
you know, which which we all need

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as well. And it's wonderful and
I don't have to, you know,

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feel frustrated with my family because then
they're different to me, and they don't

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get lit up by coaching or the
things that I do, because I've got

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like minded souls who I can now
who energize me and encourage me and hold

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me accountable. So these are really
important principles because also if we're going to

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develop our highest potential, we have
to have accountability, and that's where mastermind

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and coaching and things like that are
very important. So these synergistic relationships of

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everything, as far as I'm concerned. Now, you also, you know,

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I noticed that you mentioned God a
lot in your conversation, and you

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also talked about the fact that you
help empower women to walk out the fullness

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of who God created them to be
any every area of their life. So

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how do you feel a person can
start hearing God for themselves and how do

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you help them to achieve that?
Do you help them too? Yes,

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yes, yes. So the coaching
model that I trained on is sort of

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I see accredited coaching model with a
spiritual edge. So what it does is

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it facilitates sort of three way conversations
between the coach, God and the coaching

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and these life these encounters are truly
life changing. I mean, one of

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the colleagues that are that was on
the training course with me, he happens

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to be one of the UK's leading
mediators and executive coaches and he's been and

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had his practice for fourteen fifteen years
and he just sat with his mouth open

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throughout the whole training and he just
said, this is just coaching on steroids.

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And this is why I don't hide. I include this model a lot,

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as well as the consciousness work and
other but from other models, but

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this is the thing that moves the
needle because you know, I can find

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that people come in with all sorts
of presenting issues saying, oh, this

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is the mountain. Until I move
this mountain, I can't move on with

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my life. But the reality is
that when you when they hear God for

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themselves and they know they've heard it
because they know only God could know the

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stuff that he's revealing to them,
it's literally like a walking on water moment.

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And what I experience in every converse
coaching conversation is, you know,

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not only they're being transformed before my
eyes, but I'm being transformed as a

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coach. And they when you connect
them to how God sees really and they

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put purpose, none of the other
stuff matters anymore, and it could be

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really major stuff. It is just
so fascinating to watch because literally they're just

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so fired up to get on with, you know, what God wants him

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to do. They're realized what's important. I'm here to multiply my talents.

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I'll stand alone at the end of
my life to give account for how I've

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multiplied those talents. And yeah,
all I've been doing is like the foolish

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service, burying them away out of
fearing and security and instead of you know,

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investing them wisely and multiplying them.
So I need to get on with

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it now. They're just so excited, and you know that is that is

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what. Yeah, the whole model
really works at a very deep heart level

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and is superior to anything else I've
come across. So that's how I use

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that model. But I also do
through the consciousness work, you know,

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certain practices to encourage people to sort
of tap into their intuition and their imagination

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because this is again an area where
our Western society we've been taught to think

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in our heads, in our rational
brain, and it takes a lot of

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unraveling because God puts the desires in
our hearts, not our hiss. So

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you know, it's it's a process, and I've got sort of like three

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step processes that i work with on
people to sort of start you know,

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tapping into and unleashing the power of
their intuition. And you know, it's

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it's not only our strongest sat now
in terms of giving directions, but what's

400
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so fascinating is when we start developing, you know, hearing our these and

401
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receiving these intuitive insights and hearing God, you know, it spills out into

402
00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:46.480
creativity innovation, marketing strategies, sales
strategies. This is what I was doing

403
00:35:46.519 --> 00:35:51.519
on my NBA. Honestly, this
guy does this stuff all the time,

404
00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:57.320
and he just completely wows corporate CEOs
because he goes in there with his white

405
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board and he gets them to start
tapping into their intuition and the things they

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come up with are just more groundbreaking
than all the competition. And he has

407
00:36:08.159 --> 00:36:12.840
the guts to go with it and
pursue it, and what comes out of

408
00:36:12.920 --> 00:36:17.440
that is just incredible. And that
that's the cutting edge in everything and every

409
00:36:17.480 --> 00:36:22.960
sphere. So if we can learn
to do that more, that's what that's

410
00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:30.159
that's what's so that's what I help
people do through a series of you know,

411
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:36.239
processes and things and writing their vision
and tapping into that every day practices

412
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:40.519
that these these men and think can
grow rich. They were envisioning they were

413
00:36:40.559 --> 00:36:45.840
doing, they understood the science,
and the Bible backs up the science.

414
00:36:45.519 --> 00:36:51.360
So you know, for example,
you know when I talk about vibration or

415
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:54.920
states as well, and you talk
about sort of how can they create something

416
00:36:54.960 --> 00:37:00.480
that they want when they're in toxic
environments, Again, it boils back to

417
00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:07.280
the science, you know, and
consciousness often people are responding to them out

418
00:37:07.280 --> 00:37:13.760
of a negative vibrational state anger,
frustration, and patience. But we have

419
00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:21.599
the responsibility of raising our own vibrational
and emotional states. So we cannot create

420
00:37:21.679 --> 00:37:25.119
what we want, which is more
abundance and love and all those things,

421
00:37:25.320 --> 00:37:30.639
from a negative vibrational state and patience, anger, whatever. But yet we

422
00:37:30.679 --> 00:37:36.559
all try that, we all do
it. And this to me is again,

423
00:37:36.840 --> 00:37:39.280
you know, people say they're fairly
conscious, but they're not because they

424
00:37:39.320 --> 00:37:44.280
go on go on thinking they can
create what they want in their life from

425
00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:47.119
negative vibrational states. Well, it
just doesn't work like that. So we've

426
00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:54.280
got to learn to get ourselves back
up to those highest vibrational states as quickly

427
00:37:54.320 --> 00:38:00.400
as possible and to stay there,
which is why we're The Bible comes in

428
00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:05.679
and backs up everything that the quantum
science teaches us when it says in Philippians

429
00:38:05.719 --> 00:38:08.280
fourbo say, you know, dwell
on all things that are good and pure

430
00:38:08.320 --> 00:38:12.920
and lovely, because when you are
dwelling on everything that's good and you're on

431
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:16.280
lovely, you're naturally in that state
that's there, and from that position you

432
00:38:16.360 --> 00:38:21.800
create what you want. But you
know, it's it's it's it's obvious on

433
00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:24.480
the one hand, but you know
when we live in two them all and

434
00:38:24.599 --> 00:38:30.159
stress and there's negative stuff going on, it is harder to you know,

435
00:38:30.280 --> 00:38:34.280
get back up there and and stay
there. But that's where you know,

436
00:38:34.360 --> 00:38:38.639
I've got the tools and things to
help people raise their consciousness and create what

437
00:38:38.679 --> 00:38:44.840
they love and start changing the paradigms
which are so wonderful to be part of.

438
00:38:46.079 --> 00:38:52.119
Absolutely. Now, another thing I
know that you help with is ego

439
00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:57.519
warns. What are ego warns?
And how can one deal? Are heal

440
00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:02.880
those types of wands. Yeah,
So when we're growing up, we all,

441
00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:07.159
you know, we all have ego
wounds and people who say they haven't

442
00:39:07.159 --> 00:39:14.239
got any ears, you know,
talking rubbish. So when we when our

443
00:39:14.239 --> 00:39:16.920
brain is swarming up until sort of
about our early twenties, we're in it

444
00:39:17.079 --> 00:39:22.360
very much in our in our rational
uh you know mind, and quite quite

445
00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:29.559
emotional as well sensitive and you know, these life happens, experiences happen to

446
00:39:29.639 --> 00:39:37.920
us all. So you know,
we we we we've all got things that

447
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:42.039
affect our our ego. Our ego
is basically there to keep us safe,

448
00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:46.119
so you know, and and and
to protect us, which is good.

449
00:39:46.159 --> 00:39:52.719
When we were in ancient civilizations and
we had to run away from from wild

450
00:39:52.760 --> 00:39:57.239
animals and all that kind of stuff. But it's it really works against us

451
00:39:57.280 --> 00:40:00.400
if we don't understand it, because
it keeps us in our comfort zone.

452
00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:09.280
So yeah, ego wounds are things
like fear, rejection, all the things

453
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:15.159
on the on the on the inniogram, you know, lack of trust,

454
00:40:16.679 --> 00:40:24.840
so you know, and and and
perhaps a fear of intimacy. So these

455
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:30.559
are the are the woundings that you
know, through our experiences and in life

456
00:40:30.599 --> 00:40:35.639
as we're growing up, this is
what we make up about the world,

457
00:40:35.679 --> 00:40:39.079
about ourselves and about others, but
it might not necessarily be true true,

458
00:40:39.119 --> 00:40:44.880
So we have to unravel all of
that and actually heal those wounds. So

459
00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:50.760
if if I take an example,
like on the iniogram, an ego wound

460
00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:59.440
like we've talked about, might be
say rejection, or an ego wound might

461
00:40:59.480 --> 00:41:06.599
be like fear of intimacy for example, and what what how that's arisen the

462
00:41:06.679 --> 00:41:10.800
shadow personality for you know, someone
who fears intimacy is often somebody who's a

463
00:41:10.880 --> 00:41:15.119
real deep thinker, who who who
lives in their heads, who's very logic

464
00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:20.920
and rational and what have you,
and they want to be intimate with their

465
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:24.000
other halves or whatever. They want
to have close relationships, but they just

466
00:41:24.519 --> 00:41:32.360
that that they can't be they can't
be you know, vulnerable. So it's

467
00:41:32.400 --> 00:41:37.880
it's it's learning all about the enneagram
and in essence and what the what the

468
00:41:37.920 --> 00:41:44.280
woundings are and what the cures are
for them. Again, overwhelmed was an

469
00:41:44.280 --> 00:41:46.639
interesting one when we're all under so
much stress, and this is something that

470
00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:53.199
I sort of suffered from a lot, and you know that the the the

471
00:41:53.239 --> 00:42:00.880
shadow personality that is quite weird.
Actually it's it's being overly positive and you

472
00:42:00.920 --> 00:42:06.760
often get that with with people who
are you know, being overly anything is

473
00:42:06.800 --> 00:42:08.480
not good. So this is how
I used to be thinking it was a

474
00:42:08.519 --> 00:42:12.760
good thing. You know, overly
positive. Got a lot of stress and

475
00:42:12.800 --> 00:42:19.639
everything else. But that is also
because at the heart of it, they

476
00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:24.079
don't like pain. They mask it. They mask pain with a delusion or

477
00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:30.800
positive outlook. So it's also learning
to sort of cure that and and become

478
00:42:30.840 --> 00:42:35.000
more comfortable with pain. So yeah, I haven't explained it very well,

479
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:37.239
but when you when you when you
when you didn't work on the enneagram,

480
00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:45.079
it becomes clear. A great explanation
on it, which is you know,

481
00:42:45.639 --> 00:42:50.639
when you talked about the different the
different types of ego wants, I think

482
00:42:50.679 --> 00:42:55.639
when probably when people heard the word
ego, they were automatically thought maybe as

483
00:42:55.639 --> 00:42:59.840
something else, and that with some
of the things that you mentioned, which

484
00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:02.440
was great. I'm glad that you
kind of broke that down for us.

485
00:43:04.199 --> 00:43:07.760
We're almost coming to the end.
I mean, you've been self fantastic with

486
00:43:07.880 --> 00:43:13.920
the information that you shared with us. So tell me quickly, if you

487
00:43:13.960 --> 00:43:17.519
could tell me if you have one
piece of advice that you would leave with

488
00:43:17.679 --> 00:43:24.480
our viewers and our listeners, what
would that piece of advice be? Do

489
00:43:24.760 --> 00:43:35.320
the inner work on yourself. The
dividends are just beyond in terms of accelerating

490
00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:42.960
your transformation on every level. Coaching
on your identity and your consciousness is going

491
00:43:43.039 --> 00:43:49.480
to change the trajectory of your life
in every area beyond what you'd ever dream

492
00:43:49.519 --> 00:43:53.679
possible. So do that make that
investment. I wish I'd done it decades

493
00:43:53.760 --> 00:44:02.239
ago. Remember to me, I'd
tell you what this has been wonderful having

494
00:44:02.239 --> 00:44:07.400
you on the show. If you'd
like to tell our viewers and listeners if

495
00:44:07.400 --> 00:44:09.800
they want to reach out to you, if you want to tell them how

496
00:44:09.840 --> 00:44:15.239
they can connect with you feel free
to do so. So that because you've

497
00:44:15.239 --> 00:44:21.159
shared some great nuggets. So who
knows somebody maney have some additional questions to

498
00:44:21.239 --> 00:44:24.199
ask you? Yeah, sure,
I mean I'd love to hear from any

499
00:44:24.199 --> 00:44:29.760
of you. I am on LinkedIn
Barbara fromant Inside Out Life and Leadership,

500
00:44:30.159 --> 00:44:34.960
so you can DM me on me
on there. I don't know if you

501
00:44:35.320 --> 00:44:42.280
do you take email addresses or is
that yeah? Yeah, so I can.

502
00:44:42.400 --> 00:44:46.360
I can put my give you my
email address. It's Barbara fromant as

503
00:44:46.360 --> 00:44:52.400
you see in my name, no
dots between the Barbara fromant at outlook dot

504
00:44:52.440 --> 00:44:58.400
com and yes, drop me,
drop me an email. I am also

505
00:44:58.519 --> 00:45:05.480
doing my first free workshop on lee
fifth of October at seventeen thirty UK time,

506
00:45:05.519 --> 00:45:09.360
and i'd love you to join join
that if possible. I don't know

507
00:45:09.400 --> 00:45:16.320
if if you've got the link to
that where everybody can register. But that's

508
00:45:16.360 --> 00:45:22.679
basically really about you know, living, taking your life, relationships, business

509
00:45:22.679 --> 00:45:29.199
and career and living on your term, so dealing with acceleration in all these

510
00:45:29.239 --> 00:45:34.559
areas whether you're you know, so
that would be if you'd like to hear

511
00:45:34.599 --> 00:45:38.119
more about consciousness and all these things
that we've discussed on how they can transform

512
00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:44.280
your life. I will put a
I've got the link here, I think,

513
00:45:44.719 --> 00:45:49.519
and if I just pop that into
this chat here with that work or

514
00:45:49.559 --> 00:45:52.920
do I need to put it somewhere
out We can put it up on the

515
00:45:52.960 --> 00:45:55.920
screen so it'll run across, so
you can go ahead and put it in,

516
00:45:58.400 --> 00:46:01.880
and I will go ahead and let
them know upcoming events that I have

517
00:46:02.039 --> 00:46:06.639
coming up. But again, I
want to thank you for being on the

518
00:46:06.679 --> 00:46:10.960
show. Make sure you do put
that link in the chat and yeah,

519
00:46:10.960 --> 00:46:16.079
he said to type it there.
I want to thank you for being my

520
00:46:16.239 --> 00:46:21.639
guests. Barbara from att that's who
you have been listening to today on the

521
00:46:21.719 --> 00:46:28.239
Successful Women's Show. And while she's
putting her link in for her upcoming workshop,

522
00:46:28.599 --> 00:46:31.840
I'm gonna let you know some things
that's upcoming, some upcoming events that

523
00:46:31.880 --> 00:46:37.880
I have. Of course you know
about that. You can now pre order

524
00:46:37.960 --> 00:46:43.840
your copies of the On It anthology
It's Your Life on It Unapologetically and the

525
00:46:43.960 --> 00:46:49.199
journal three hundred and sixty five days
to transformation. To pre order the paperback

526
00:46:49.239 --> 00:46:53.320
book and journal separately will be twenty
four ninety nine for each book. To

527
00:46:53.480 --> 00:46:59.840
order. The complete set is the
book and the journal is forty nine nine

528
00:47:00.159 --> 00:47:02.760
nine, And if you want to
order your copies, you can go to

529
00:47:04.960 --> 00:47:09.440
or email me at info at EXWSI
dot com or you can actually go to

530
00:47:09.480 --> 00:47:19.400
my website. The direct links are
on the website www dot EXWSI dot com.

531
00:47:19.440 --> 00:47:22.519
And make sure to tune in this
month to the Black Business Olympics.

532
00:47:22.960 --> 00:47:29.159
Uh. It's going to be held
September twenty seven through October three. And

533
00:47:29.199 --> 00:47:34.159
as you know, the Black Business
Olympics is a fundraiser to provide scholarships and

534
00:47:34.440 --> 00:47:39.920
laptops to high school seniors going to
college and K through twelve entrepreneurs. The

535
00:47:39.960 --> 00:47:46.079
Black Business Olympics showcases black businesses,
black business owners and corporations all around the

536
00:47:46.079 --> 00:47:51.559
world. And if you'd like to
be a speaker on the Black Business Olympics,

537
00:47:51.679 --> 00:47:59.159
you can email me at info at
EXWSI dot com and make a note

538
00:47:59.239 --> 00:48:05.079
on your calendar. They're coming up
in uh January. I think it's the

539
00:48:05.360 --> 00:48:10.840
twenty fifth through the twenty seventh.
If I'm not making uh, I'm guessing

540
00:48:10.920 --> 00:48:15.119
right now, but it's I think
it's twenty fifth through the twenty seven.

541
00:48:15.719 --> 00:48:20.840
You will I will be having the
show up to Rise Up Women's Summit to

542
00:48:20.880 --> 00:48:23.440
find out more about the event or
to be a speaker at the event,

543
00:48:23.840 --> 00:48:31.559
you can email me at info at
EXWSI dot com and that's gonna be January

544
00:48:32.119 --> 00:48:37.760
twenty five, twenty fifth through the
twenty seven, twenty twenty four so email

545
00:48:37.800 --> 00:48:42.800
me if you'd like to be a
speaker or find out more information about the

546
00:48:43.360 --> 00:48:50.719
show Up to Rise Up Summit.
Also coming soon again, US two will

547
00:48:50.760 --> 00:48:57.039
be the show Up to Rise Up
Women's Network and the mission of the show

548
00:48:57.159 --> 00:49:01.480
women's show Up to Rise Up Network
will be to empower connect women in their

549
00:49:01.559 --> 00:49:07.559
career and businesses, professional and personal
lives and we'll be able to help you

550
00:49:07.639 --> 00:49:14.679
to gain resources, help you to
increase your revenue. Will just a lot

551
00:49:14.719 --> 00:49:19.800
of networking, a lot of information
and opportunities will be available to you.

552
00:49:20.599 --> 00:49:24.880
And as always, if you have
not listened to my TEDx talk, make

553
00:49:24.920 --> 00:49:30.199
sure you do so right now.
My talk is at one hundred and eighty

554
00:49:30.199 --> 00:49:34.559
five thousand, four hundred twenty three
views. I am trying to get it

555
00:49:34.639 --> 00:49:37.360
up to a million plus, so
make sure you watch it to the very

556
00:49:37.519 --> 00:49:42.000
end, make sure you share.
I want to thank those who have supported

557
00:49:42.719 --> 00:49:46.480
the videos so far because it is
still being pushed out there, so I

558
00:49:46.519 --> 00:49:51.320
want to thank all my views and
listeners for that. And as you know,

559
00:49:51.400 --> 00:49:55.599
I'm a contributing writer to own It
magazine where I share nuggets and resources

560
00:49:55.639 --> 00:50:00.639
every month. The magazine is a
resource for personal, professional, and business

561
00:50:00.639 --> 00:50:06.079
development. So make sure that you
get a copy of that. If you'd

562
00:50:06.119 --> 00:50:09.079
like to get a digital copy,
email me and I'll send you a link

563
00:50:09.079 --> 00:50:13.039
so you can see a sample of
the magazine. You can email me at

564
00:50:13.119 --> 00:50:19.679
info at ex w SI dot com. And if you want a subscription,

565
00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:24.119
you can go on my website for
subscription to the magazine, which is www

566
00:50:24.239 --> 00:50:30.960
dot EXWSI dot com. So again
I would like to thank my guests,

567
00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:37.960
Miss Barbara from IT and my viewers
and listeners. And I did not mention

568
00:50:37.159 --> 00:50:43.280
but Barbara fromatt came to us different
time zone. She came to us from

569
00:50:43.320 --> 00:50:47.800
the United Kingdom, so I really
want to thank her because the time difference

570
00:50:47.840 --> 00:50:52.280
there, she's a little later than
we are. I believe it's probably around

571
00:50:52.280 --> 00:50:58.400
seven almost eight o'clock at night there, So definitely want to thank her for

572
00:50:58.519 --> 00:51:02.519
joining us today. You've been listening, of course to the Successful Women's Show.

573
00:51:02.760 --> 00:51:07.599
I'm doctor Madelanee Lewis, and if
you want to reach out to me.

574
00:51:07.440 --> 00:51:14.840
Email me at info at ex WSI
dot com. Remember I'm on all

575
00:51:14.920 --> 00:51:20.400
the social media sites, so you
can also DM me on any of the

576
00:51:20.480 --> 00:51:24.760
sites. And I want to again
thank my guests, Miss Barbara from IT

577
00:51:24.920 --> 00:51:30.400
for being on the show, my
views, and my listeners for always tuning

578
00:51:30.440 --> 00:51:35.559
in and supporting us. And this
is the successful women's show. We're here

579
00:51:35.639 --> 00:51:42.199
every week and I am your host, Doctor Madelanee lewis helping women to accelerate

580
00:51:42.239 --> 00:51:46.800
the path to success. I want
to thank you all again for joining me

581
00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:52.280
to include my guests who joined us
all away from the United Kingdom. I

582
00:51:52.440 --> 00:51:59.480
love you all to life as always, be well and stay safe out there.

583
00:52:00.360 --> 00:52:09.079
Got the eye of the time.
I dan to do the chap and

584
00:52:09.320 --> 00:52:22.719
you kill me, then have a
cham and me